Afraid
by Shizuku Tsukishima749
Summary: Season Three Spoiler: Nightmares have plagued Jessi since she's moved into the Trager house. While dealing with them, she must come to terms with something she never wanted to admit. Kyle/Jessi
1. Afraid

_A/N: This story does contain a small Season Three spoiler, so if you'd like to keep everything a mystery, you may want to turn back now. Also, there isn't any direct Kessi interaction in this chapter, though there IS still some implications of the pair. The next chapter shall be focused on the two of them (basically), however, so have no fear, fellow Kessi fans!_

_A/N #2: While this idea has been introduced to this fandom before, it is purely coincidence that another author (whose name escapes me at the present time) used the same spoiler as basis for her own idea. Our basis may be the same, but our stories have separate ideas driving them.  
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_Disclaimer: I do not own Kyle XY or anything affiliated with it. The show and its characters belong to ABC Family and whatever other company that's helping to make it such a wonderful series._

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**Afraid**

Jessi had moved into the Trager house a week ago today. She'd simply appeared on their doorstep one Seattle afternoon, crying pitifully and soaking wet from having run furiously through the downpour that had decided to strike, as it so frequently did in the overcast, waterlogged town. She'd had nowhere else to go, and as was the Trager thing to do, the whole family, but _especially _Kyle, insisted she live with them.

The reason for her tears came quickly after she had been anxiously ushered into the house, been given a change of clothes, and covered in numerous blankets by Kyle: Sarah.

The woman had, apparently, abruptly come to the realization that she wouldn't be the best Mom to Jessi, having not been in extensive human contact for twenty years. Thus, Sarah had left her in Seattle, hoping the Tragers would take the girl in, which they did.

It was a noble decision, Jessi understood, as Sarah had only been trying to do what was best for her, but it had also been reckless, and hurt immensely nonetheless. Her Mom hadn't realized Jessi had risked everything, even Kyle, to make her happy. The poor girl hadn't been moving for her own sake; she hadn't even the heart to _suggest _her desire to stay.

Living with the Tragers as Jessi now was, she finally felt as if things were going to get better. She could begin to live her life with the family she'd always wanted and be happy for the first time.

She was wrong.

It was exactly one week ago that the nightmares started, and they had occurred every night since. They got worse as each night blended into the next, and because she was temporarily sharing Lori's room, the redhead was normally the one to wake her from the nighttime struggles.

Each time, Jessi asked the same thing of Lori: don't tell Kyle. So far, it appeared as if Lori had kept her word, though it was obvious she was reluctant to do so.

She could sense the strain of the burden and guilt of keeping the information from her brother were weighing down on her friend, and she didn't want to witness another happening such as the one Lori had told her.

It had happened when Kyle first moved in, and Lori, who was supposed to be watching him at her job, had left him at home to spy on Declan, seeing as she had lost her job and hadn't figured out how to tell her parents; Josh, on the other hand, had tricked Kyle into finishing his Algebra test for him, if only because he was having video game withdrawals and thought he'd be let off the hook if he got a good grade, which he could only do with Kyle's 'help'.

In the end, Kyle couldn't take the guilt of lying to either Stephen or Nicole and blurted everything, getting both children into trouble for deceiving their parents. Kyle was left feeling horrible about getting Lori and Josh punished because of him, even though Nicole and Stephen both insisted their scheming children were wrong and he had done the right thing.

She was torn between hurting her friends and hurting herself. Jessi didn't want Lori feeling as Kyle had, and she certainly didn't want Kyle to be hurt if he should have to find out from someone else…or that he had to find out and worry for her at all. However, if she went on like this…

She found she could never get back to sleep after Lori awoke her from the horrendous nightmares, and so, she had no other choice but to stay awake the rest of the night. Lori had volunteered numerous times to sacrifice her sleep along with her, but Jessi wasn't about to allow her to do that. She knew she could make it at least a week or more without sleep, but she knew for a fact a normal human like Lori couldn't survive long under such circumstances.

Thus, she would contemplate all of the family pictures on the wall in the hallway, particularly one they'd taken the day she'd moved in.

Kyle's arm was around her there, a giant grin flashed in the camera's direction, and a small smile played on her own lips in reaction. Somehow, the sparkling in Kyle's eyes had, and still did, pointed her to one thing: he _wanted _her here.

Everyone else in the family beamed as well, including Lori and Josh, who had squeezed themselves in beside she and Kyle, Stephen and Nicole sitting on chairs in front of all of them and holding each other's hands firmly.

It seemed to her, which brought forth a joyful feeling indeed, that they, too, wanted her here; _enjoyed _her presence alongside theirs.

Bringing her eyes away from Kyle after a long moment, she gazed with a strange emotion of confused adoration at the two clasped hands belonging to Stephen and Nicole.

There was such strength in their relationship; such trust and love. She could only imagine what that was like, to have the one person for whom you care the most forever bonded to you through a few words, a kiss, and a specially formed band of metal fashioned to cradle a specific diamond.

Here, in this very dark hallway, everything seemed…tranquil, yet frightening. Everything had a scary side, and she knew why: her nightmares.

Her nightmares had started all of this and she hoped they would end it as well. Unfortunately, that theory hadn't come through for her yet, and she was beginning to lose faith in it.

Inside her heart, she knew she could survive a long while without sleep, but after becoming accustomed to sleeping every night for the past several months since she had consciously been introduced to the world, she wasn't sure how long she would last.

Honestly, though she didn't want to admit it, she could feel her eyes and body begging for sleep as her eyelids drooped almost unnoticeably, her feet dragging on the floor just the smallest bit with each step.

However, she couldn't let anything else slip; not her speech, her mind, or her awareness. Nothing. For she knew, should her guard be down for even the shortest second, Kyle would see, and…she couldn't think any further, for fear of allowing her heart to become heavier than it already was.

"Jessi?" She whirled around in an instant, incredibly startled, short brown hair somewhat painfully slapping her in the face as she did so. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in fright, unsure of what to say to the woman who'd found her standing so concentrated in the hallway in the dead of night.

Nicole was dressed in her beautiful, pearl-white, silk pajamas, a small magenta jacket pulled around her shoulders; her blond hair was in disarray from sleep, and her eyes as well as her posture revealed her tired, yet alert status.

Mrs. Trager walked down the last stair to touch the wood floor with her light slippers and made her way past the kitchen to place a hand on Jessi's forehead, relinquishing it after a few seconds and replacing one motherly gesture with another: the creased eyebrows and frown, meaning worry.

"You don't have a fever, but I can feel you're not breathing," Immediately realizing she was right, Jessi quickly breathed deeply, seeing as she'd forgotten to do so during her shock of being caught. "That's better. Now, onto the bigger question: What are you doing up at this time of night? Did you come down for a midnight snack, or…is it something else?"

Nicole's eyes scrutinized her, and Jessi inwardly gulped and swallowed her fear; those psychiatry tricks could work on anybody, even her, but especially now.

"I couldn't sleep. Whenever that happens, I look at this picture of all of us. It reminds me of how safe and loved I feel here. I've never really had that before, you know; at least, not permanently or sincerely…but, you already know about that."

She hung her head and laughed a bit to try to throw off some of the hurt that flooded her soul at the implied mention of Sarah and Brian. Her voice had sounded quite hoarse to her ears, and she was sure Nicole had picked up on it, too, for the woman tenderly rubbed her shoulder in comfort.

"Well, let's get you back up to bed for now. We'll save the Mom/psychiatrist speech about why you can't fall asleep for later today, when I'm actually able to see in this house."

Jessi nodded and raised her head to deliver a small, grateful smile, Nicole placing a gentle hand on her upper back as they walked up the stairs and quietly sneaked into Lori's room. They tiptoed over to Jessi's makeshift bed of several pillows and blankets wrapped encasing one another and Mrs. Trager affectionately secured the comforter around her charge when she was settled.

Nicole leaned down and kissed the teenager for a lengthy moment on the forehead, Jessi closing her eyes and inaudibly sighing at the sensations of belonging and love that came along with the simple contact. The older woman pulled away slowly, her hand making a tender movement through Jessi's curly hair as her eyes bored into the younger's meaningfully.

"Everything will be okay, Jessi. I promise." The girl nodded silently, staring straight back into her replacement Mom's eyes, afraid that, if she spoke, the shaking of her voice would give away the pain behind the tears that had unexpectedly overcome her vision.

Patting her lower leg reassuringly and as a form of goodnight, Nicole softly withdrew herself from the room, closing the door even more quietly.

Jessi sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling after closing her eyes for a stretched second and then opening them: now, what?

The warmth of the comforter upon her, as well as the combined body heat from both she and Lori wafting throughout the room, and particularly the exhaustion she hadn't wanted to admit was there all began to overwhelm her at once.

She could feel her vision fading already, along with the wetness of the tears that had previously clouded her eyes as they cascaded down her face, a few sticking to her eyelashes when her eyes finally closed.

She didn't want to fall asleep, of course. No, as that had been her mission since the day the nightmares had started: to stay awake once she'd been awoken. However, it had technically been eight days since she'd gotten an entire night's sleep, and it seemed, no matter how hard she resisted or denied it, she just couldn't handle anything more.

Despite what she wished or how she struggled, it appeared as if she would finally have to admit defeat. That thought alone caused her to understand just what she was doing to herself; she was breaking, losing grip because she was afraid to sleep, lest the scarring night terrors attack her again.

She had admitted many things before, except for one; one which had been expressed, but not thrown out there in words like dice in a casino, where it could then be manipulated and morphed. Not until now.

Jessi, Experiment 781228, was afraid.

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_A/N: I certainly hope you enjoyed this, and the next chapter/sequel (still have to decide which) shoudl be up later today/tonight/tomorrow, considering my enstranged sleepign hours! XD_


	2. Doth Thou Shiver?

_A/N: I'm SO sorry, you guys! I KNOW I promised you a new chapter Sunday (or so), but this took me a little while to write, and I was doing other things, too... Please forgive me! _

_A/N #2: Also, I KNOW I said this would be the Kyle/Jessi chapter, but I think that'll be the next one... I was thinking about just skipping the grand majority of this chapter and going straight to the next night, but I thought that might be a bit...unrealistic. Plus, I thought you might like to see how Jessi interacts with the family. (There is a bit of Kyle/Jessi in this chapter, though!)_

_A/N #3: If there's anything you think I should fix, please let me know! I really wanted to get this up before I went to bed because you've all been waiting so patiently...  
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She wasn't aware of how long she'd slept, but she knew instantly who owned the voice that spoke to her. It was Lori; what caught her attention, however, was that her tone didn't convey worried persistence, as it always did when rousing her from her nightmares. Instead, it was enlaced with wholehearted relief and care.

She opened her eyes very gradually, squinting against even the bit of sunlight that sneaked in through Lori's closed blinds. She took in Lori's face eventually, her vision blurred firsthand from sleeping so deeply after so long.

The redhead smiled lovingly down at her, Jessi's eyes following her arm and temporarily closing in contentment as the girl's hand threaded adoringly through her dark tresses.

She opened her eyes at Lori's liberation-filled voice, its tone deeper and more sincere than when she was with most others.

"You slept through the night, Jessi, and this morning. I'm just glad you finally got some sleep. I was really starting to worry."

Jessi's brow creased. That hadn't been what she'd wanted to hear, but the oldest Trager's eyes held a shine of sorts, one with which she found she couldn't argue. It also made her smile.

Lori grabbed her hand and carefully helped her to her feet after entangling her from her comforter, grinning at how well her modest pair of pajamas fit Jessi. She sighed and peered at the dark-haired teen comically.

"We'd better get downstairs before Josh eats everything in sight." Jessi smiled and laughed as they made their way out the door, down the stairs, and into the dining room-adjoined-kitchen.

Everyone in the family was already seated, and even though it was past noon, Nicole had her usual cup of coffee, Stephen was scanning the sports section of the newspaper, Josh was struggling to decide which cereal to eat (it was either between 'Predator Poppers' or 'Alien-Eye Clusters'), and Kyle instantly turned his head when they entered the room.

His eyes seemed to brighten as he caught sight of her, and he smiled enchantingly.

"Good afternoon!" She smiled shyly and nodded, her voice kept within her throat as she inexplicably felt the need to examine him as discreetly and quickly as possible. His eyes were cheerful and wonderful as always, and he looked the same as ever, but there was something about him today that didn't sit right…and it worried her.

She walked over and took a seat between he and Josh, Lori sitting between her brother and Father, and it was when Lori reached for the 'Predator Poppers' simultaneously with Josh, which resulted in an argument between the two, that Jessi finally realized what was amiss:

Kyle didn't have anything edible in front of him.

Her eyes narrowed and her face scrunched in amused confusion, a smile portraying exactly those emotions spread across her face as she gazed at him.

"Did you wait for me?" He simply smiled warmly at her, twisting his neck to look into her eyes.

"Of course." She could nothing but smile and watch as he turned back to his empty cereal bowl and spoon, picked them up, and handed them to her. She took them tentatively, confused as to his motives, but settled for continuing to observe him.

He stood from his chair and walked to the cupboard, from which he pulled a set matching the items he'd given her, and then resumed his place at the table.

She playfully shook her head and chuckled quietly, smiling all the while. Their late breakfast went smoothly, and it was only when Jessi was putting the cereal away that the real Saturday motions were set into play.

"So, you kids have anything planned for today?" Stephen asked as he folded up his newspaper, Nicole reading her book beside him, but paused and raised her eyes to hear her children's plans. Josh was the first to answer his Father's question.

"_I_ am going to play G-Force all day, so I can finally kick Andy's butt." Jessi immediately grinned; this could prove to be fun.

"You know, I bet I could help. I've read about some of these games." Josh gave her a rather incredulous glance in reply.

"Dude, these games are _not _something you just 'read about'. This is hard-core, butt-kicking, video game fun! Are you _seriously _telling me you've never played G-Force?"

She was bewildered by his response, as she was sure her arched eyebrow and utterly perplexed expression showed, and could only nod dumbly. He sighed dramatically and gripped her wrist, dragging her away toward the living room and, according to him, the greatest thing ever created by mankind.

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It wasn't more than 8.2 minutes later when he pulled Jessi along with him as he ran back into the kitchen; frankly, she was surprised he hadn't brought them both down to personally meet the floor yet.

The family, which still resided in their previous positions, with the exception of Lori, who had come in front the back porch after hearing the commotion, directed their attention to them as Josh finally skid to halt and the newest addition to their household stopped expertly beside him.

They were inwardly laughing, as was easily expressed through their twinkling eyes, and Jessi rubbing her wrist to try to get its circulation flowing again after the boy had finally let it go wasn't shy of hysterical either.

"Have you _seen _this girl's mad G-Force skills? She killed me thirty-four times-" He cut himself off at the looks and quiet laugh sessions that soon interrupted him, and his eyes widened almost instantaneously. "I mean- I- I _let _her win all those times, and…okay! So, she kicked my butt, but I _still _got in some practice!"

With that, he quickly retreated back into his G-Force cave, and Jessi turned halfway around to watch him, giggling and smiling at his antics.

"Jessi?" She snapped her head in the opposite direction to face Lori, who had Kyle at her side, a hopeful look on her face. "Would you mind helping me with the music to my new song? I'm having a little trouble with it, and I know with both you and Kyle there, I'll have it down in no time."

There was no way she could resist Lori's face or request, especially when Kyle gazed at his sister as adoringly as he was now. The dark brunette obliged and beamed, following both of them as they trekked upstairs, all three sitting on Lori's bed as she grabbed her guitar and introduced the lyrics to them.

Several hours later, it was finally finished. They had had so much fun laughing while coming up with chords and titles that they hadn't realized how much time had gone by until Nicole called them down for dinner.

Andy had come over during their songwriting session and was staying for dinner. She had gotten the gist of what had happened with Jessi's Mother, though Josh hadn't let anything crucial slip through the cracks.

She hadn't been over all week because she'd wanted to give Jessi some time to get settled with the Tragers and soak in everything without outside interruptions, but the truth was, Jessi had missed her.

She was always so full of life and wisecracks, and Jessi loved it. In fact, it was what she needed more than ever right now, and Andy's comic relief combined with Josh's, along with a few sarcastic remarks from Lori made her load a bit lighter, if only for the moment.

Jessi calmly smiled and observed the goings-on around the dinner table, letting loose a closed-mouthed laugh every once in a while at one comment or another.

When she abruptly heard a light clink of metal on glass, she looked down, startled, to find her plate empty of all traces of food. She blushed immensely as the room around her fell silent, and she raised her eyes to the close-knit group around her, head still pointed towards her plate, to find they had all halted in their own business to gaze curiously at her.

She raised her head then and grinned sheepishly, causing Josh to succumb to a seemingly never-ending laughing fit, Andy soon following, as well as the rest of the family. She eventually joined in, figuring the situation was pretty hilarious. After all, how often does one eat everything on their plate without noticing?

After helping to clear the table once dinner was over, Jessi began to wash the dishes when the doorbell rang. She hurriedly dried her hands and announced she would answer the door, laughing as Josh replied with a jokingly snide remark from the living room with Andy, and soon after, his cry of disbelief as his girlfriend beat him in G-Force yet again.

Hilary stood on the Trager doorstep, beaming at Jessi as the sunshiny girl was known to do, and Jessi returned it happily.

"Hey, cupcake! Is Lori here?" The girl asked as she slid into the entryway and looked around, attention finally coming back to Jessi as the door closed behind her.

"Yeah. She's this way." She led Hillary upstairs and into Lori's bedroom, where the redhead was practicing the song they'd finished earlier on the bed, Kyle sitting across from her, listening to and watching each thing she did with sincere interest. However, both stopped what they were doing when the two girls entered.

"What's up, Hills? You come over to hear the new original by Lori Trager, with help from Kyle and Jessi?" She laughed and grinned at her best friend, Hillary giving a tender smile back before moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You forgot about our BFF sleepover tonight, didn't you?" She narrowed her eyes and then widened in playful revelation, her sly grin never fading as she watched Lori's face go from confusion to star-studded remembrance.

"I did, didn't I? Hillary, I'm so sorry! I feel horrible!"

"Don't worry about it, sweetie-pie. I figured you would, what with our little Jessi moving in and you looking so tired lately. I'm just happy to see you've rested a bit. Besides, we made those plans two weeks ago. I was even surprised _I _remembered."

Hillary laughed, and Lori did as well, while inconspicuously directing her eyes to Jessi's, fraught with concern. She was brought back to attention by Hillary's concerned hand on her arm.

"We can cancel, you know, if you're still not feeling well."

"I- "

"She'd love to! I'll just…kick Andy and Josh's butts in G-Force again. You two have fun." Lori's eyes widened considerably, seemingly saying, as they gave the slightest scrunch: _Are you sure?_

Jessi provided an acceptable smile, not daring to let her true emotions show at this point. She wanted Lori to relax and have fun without worrying about her, and besides, it wasn't her friend's fault she'd begun to have these nightmares. She didn't want to hold her back.

Thus, her eyes communicated back what was manufactured to be a strong message: _Yes._

Lori nodded, eyes fixed on her before ducking back to Hillary, an inward sigh evidently being released from the accepting, yet slightly defiant creases in her expression.

"Okay. Let's go." The girls moved from the bed and just as Lori turned to gather some pajamas from her drawer, Jessi startled her by holding a pair out to her. Her favorite ones, to be precise. Lori stared at her in amused, adoring astonishment, as she sometimes did with Kyle.

"How did you-"

"I told you, I'm good at reading people. Besides, I know what you need for a sleepover. The rest of your stuff's folded inside your shirt." Lori grinned in gratefulness, her eyes magnifying it by ten.

To the brunette's face, she said, "Thank you."

Conversely, while hugging her strongly, she whispered, "Please tell him."

As she pulled away, the exuberance in her eyes dimmed faintly, for Jessi's eyes plainly said it all: _I can't._ As much as she hated and disagreed with her decision, she placed an encouraging, meaningful hand on her lower arm, gave a smile that held all the same, and walked from the room.

Jessi sighed, staring at the door through which her two friends had gone. She jumped suddenly when Kyle cautiously sneaked up behind her and softly laid a hand on her shoulder. She spun to face him and saw his shock; she had _always_ known his presence before, without any sound or method of indication that he was ever there…

"Are you okay? You seem…distracted tonight." His eyes searched her face, her eyes, her soul, and she resisted the urge to look away or bow her head, for fear that he might interrogate her further if she showed weakness.

Instead, she put forth a strong front, smiling as best she could under the walls that threatened to crush her beyond repair, and took his hand.

"Kyle, I'm fine. It'll just feel lonely without Lori, that's all."

"We could move your bed into my room for the night, if you want. I wouldn't mind." He tenderly grasped her hand back, rubbing it forward and backward in a calming notion. Jessi inwardly froze for a split second; what if he had figured it out?

It wasn't impossible, after all. With all of the thrashing, crying, and surprisingly quiet screaming she exerted in the midst of her lurid nighttime experiences, it wouldn't have been hard for him to pick up and record something in his subconscious. Plus, she had said they were always connected no matter where they were, and that included by floorboards, stairs, and doorways…

That was all erased from her mind at once, however, when she felt Kyle's thumb caress her cheek in a calm, intense manner, his eyes focusing on hers.

"If something's wrong, Jessi, I want you to tell me. Will you do that?" When she looked hesitant, he pleaded, "For me?" His voice was urgent, so kind and undeniably indescribable…she couldn't resist anything of him.

"Yes." Kyle let loose a small smile and sighed in momentary contentment, knowing there was still something left unsaid, but not willing to pry until she was ready to come to him. He withdrew his hand from her cheek and proceeded to exit the room, leaving Jessi to stand there in the brightly lit room until following his lead.

She waltzed into the living room and bid goodnight to the continuously G-Force playing Josh and Andy, the cancer-free girl getting up to give her a hug and offer support for the road ahead, in response to which Jessi nodded appreciatively.

She made sure to knock before entering Nicole's office, in which she and Stephen were working on something they called 'classified'. They, too, embraced her goodnight, both of them having grown accustomed to kissing her on the cheek each night as well, as they sometimes did with their own children…when permitted.

Jessi, though, relished and almost craved the loving interactions that went on, not minding in the slightest whether kids at school were watching or Lori and Josh didn't partake: she needed and wanted to feel the love that surged through this heaven-sent family she'd found, and she was happy with everything she received.

She sneaked up to Kyle's door, heavy breathing produced by sleep coming from behind it, and quietly whispered,

"Goodnight, Kyle."

She was curled on her side in her bed now, eyes staring absentmindedly at Lori's bed. It was strangely cold in the room without her, and she'd had to borrow another blanket from the neat pile at her feet, which Nicole must have deposited there after the laundry had been folded that morning.

Wrapping the covers tighter around her, she realized she was shivering. It couldn't have been that cold, for everyone else's nervous systems were functioning normally…

Despite her trembles and continually speculating mind, Jessi unexpectedly found her eyelids drooping rapidly, and no sooner had she closed her eyes to drift into yet another heavy-until-further-notice sleep than she subconsciously realized:

She was afraid once more.

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	3. Rest Thy Head

_A/N: _Okay, everyone! This is the final chapter of 'Afraid'! Thank you, all of you, for your kindhearted reviews, Favorites, and Alerts, as they have encouraged me to finish this story! I pray you are satisfied with this ending- I stayed up late last night finishing it, and spent a good amount of my afternoon today (and some of last night) editing it (though it was fun)! Remember, this was written BEFORE we found out Sarah didn't just leave Jessi, so if you're confused about some of the things being said or referenced, be reminded of that fact! Rock on!

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"_Jessi!_ _**Jessi!**_**_"_** That last scream of her name finally broke through.

Jessi bolted straight into a sitting position, gasping for air and utterly soaked in sweat. Frantically, she looked to her right, responding to the noise of a second erratically beating heart in the room besides her own: Kyle.

She immediately propelled herself at him, holding him in a death grip for all it was worth. Even then, her breathing was still irregular, quick and cut short, her eyes wide as she clutched to his nightshirt with everything she had.

The second she'd launched herself into his arms, Kyle had grasped her tightly, left hand collecting the dark locks close to her shoulder as his arm stretched across her shoulder blades and his right arm wrapped securely around her middle.

As he held her, she bawling uncontrollably against him, he couldn't help but wonder if this was what he had sensed in her earlier, this build of crippling fear and exhaustion. It brought tears to his eyes to have her in so much pain, for their connection almost allowed him to feel it; there was a darkness there, one so deep and alluring he was scared he wouldn't get out if he were to dive inside.

He mentally berated himself; why hadn't he just pushed her into telling him earlier, instead of deciding to let her come to him when she was ready? He hadn't wanted to pressure her, but now, he wished he'd have done so until she'd been compelled to put up her force field.

She abruptly gasped for air and let out a choked sob immediately after, gripping his shirt to the point of tearing once again. He rubbed her back and buried his face in her short, curly hair, taking in each and every part of her, praying he could take her pain away as he had for so many others.

However, this was emotional pain, severely intense emotional pain, and he couldn't heal that. Healing Andy had also lifted her spirits, but that didn't apply here; nothing from his past experiences played a role in this moment.

The only thing that mattered to him at all, now, was Jessi.

He spoke softly at first, so as not to frighten her.

"Jessi?" She shivered as his voice uttered her name so carefully, delicately. He was using that harmonious, beautiful tone he only used with her. She wasn't sure he was aware of her realization, but whether he comprehended it or not, everything about him involved her in some way.

She couldn't talk about it yet, not yet. It was too soon. She'd just been woken from the horror of it all; there was no way anyone would make her relive it, not even Kyle. Anyway...he had been there, too...

She jumped violently when a hand stroked the side of her head, and it suddenly dawned on her that Kyle had, at some time, gently disentangled himself from her and was currently looking at her with burning eyes.

She closed her slightly open mouth and bit her quivering lower lip as those eyes stared at her with such intensity.

She couldn't break on him like that again.

Sure, she wanted nothing more than to break for all she was worth, as she had wanted to do since Sarah, Taylor, and Emily, but…she told herself she wanted to be _alone _when that happened: Totally, completely alone. _No one_ could see her like that, so vulnerable, so weak, so in the open as if she were a target. Never again would she break...she was too afraid.

"What can I do to help you? I know you don't want to talk about it now, and I understand that, but I can't take seeing you this broken. I've helped you through a lot, Jessi, but never something this painful. How long have you been keeping all of this inside?"

She realized then he wasn't just talking about her nightmare; he was talking about her heart as well. Her past three guardians had broken her heart, one after the other, and she hadn't been given room to grieve between moving from one life and identity to the next.

It was different here with the Tragers. She'd been given the proper time to breathe, a permanent identity, a family, friends, a home…a life of love. Nevertheless, she'd known her breaking point was going to hit its peak eventually, but she swore it would _not _happen at this point in time. Not with him here; if he saw her like that…he'd never look at her the same way again.

She swallowed her tears, her eyes not able to be diverted from his for anything in the world, and she closed her eyes for a brief second as she answered him.

"Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a small child, Kyle? One who's just woken up from a bad dream to be held by their older brother, sister, or parent?" Kyle narrowed his eyes at her curiously.

"What are you talking about? Are you sure you're okay?" She looked down and smiled wryly, wiping the last traces of tears from her face before lifting it.

"What you just did for me now…have you ever wondered how it feels to be normal?"

She had startled him with the inquiry, as was evident from the understanding shock written on his face. Eagerly, she awaited his answer: this question had taken her a long while to develop as a way of avoiding her heart.

Still staring at her inquisitively, his eyes sparkled.

"Of course. I've wondered what it's like since the day I understood what I could do and who I really was. What does this have to do with why you were screaming, Jessi?" He was seeing through her supposed 'point', that was obvious. Her shoulders nearly slumped as she realized this, but she kept herself in check. She'd just have to try a different tactic.

"Do you ever wonder if it's better than this? Better than everything we've ever survived and known?"

"Yes…but I also understand I wouldn't have met Nicole or the rest of my family if Foss hadn't broken me out of Zzyzx. Even though I sometimes wish things were different, I would never ask for anything to change. If the way things worked out had been altered, even slightly, I have a feeling I never would have met Adam, Sarah, Foss, or…you, Jessi. I would never have known you if I hadn't been…"

"I wouldn't be here either. So, you're saying…you'd miss me?" Kyle's eyes shone again, but Jessi swore it wasn't from the moon. Those were tears in Kyle's eyes; the boy was crying for her…

"Jessi, if you could even ask that…you have no idea how important you are to me. Do you remember when you almost died at the diner?"

Jessi nodded stiffly; she still recalled how warm his hand had been in hers when she'd regained consciousness for those few seconds. Kyle took her hand again as if to comfort her before continuing, and while she attentively listened, she zoned in on the heat she knew so well.

"I never told you, but when I talked to Nicole that night, I couldn't even finish when I thought of losing you. I couldn't _breathe_, Jessi. That's how much I need and would miss you."

Kyle gently squeezed her hand, effectively communicating his message without words this time, and Jessi grinned euphorically. To see her smile in such a way…

This was one of the moments Kyle felt the greatest need to save in his memory forever, one of the memoirs he swore he'd eternally cherish. The real way he'd hold onto it, though, was in what he did next.

He kissed her. He leaned in moderately quickly and somewhat cautiously placed his lips on hers, Jessi eagerly moving to meet them. As he brought his hands up to twine in her hair, the fervor intensified, continuing to do so even as their oxygen levels grew strained. Finally, when the necessity of breath became too great, they pulled away, haggardly breathing and gazing at each other.

There was utmost silence in the room, now, besides the sound of their breaths, and Kyle's hands gradually slid down from Jessi's hair to her face to her arms and back to holding her hand.

"Kyle…I-I can tell you now. About my dream."

Jessi's eyes darted about, her voice shook, and Kyle tightened his hold on her hand just a bit to stop her. Her grip tightened as well, and she swallowed the rising lump in her throat as tears began to gather.

"Jessi, I won't make you tell me, not tonight, tomorrow, or ever. Not unless you say with full confidence you're ready to talk. I would never want to make you uncomfortable," He peered into her eyes with burning strength, narrowing his own orbs just faintly to emphasize his subsequent point. "You know that."

The seventeen-year-old girl nodded to the implied question and then proceeded to sniff in once, blinking rapidly.

"I know that. I-I…I can't talk about it tonight. I'm sorry." She lowered her head, knowing she had changed her mind in the span of exactly 11.4 seconds.

"It's all right. I understand," He took his free hand and delicately pushed her chin up with his fingers, compelling her to look him in the eyes. That appendage then stroked her cheek affectionately, her eyes closing at the touch and his resonating a mixture of vast care and concern. "It'll be okay, Jessi, I promise. It _will _get better."

Jessi opened her eyes, which were swimming with tears, and grinned at him.

"When you say anything, I believe it. It's no different now, and so far, you haven't been wrong."

Kyle smiled grandly as well.

"I hope I continue to live up to that, especially where you're concerned." Beaming at one another so joyfully, they barely noticed a small, high-pitched beep from beside them. Turning their heads toward the noise, they realized it had come from Lori's clock on her dresser, which now read 3:07 A.M.

In that moment, Jessi comprehended how exhausted she honestly was, particularly with numerous sleep-deprived nights under her belt. Thus, she was not surprised when her eyes abruptly drooped extensively and a large yawn escaped her mouth every several seconds.

Kyle smiled gently, laughing almost inaudibly as he lay down to rest on one side of Jessi's bed, realizing how tired he himself was, though he knew it wasn't anywhere near the point of Jessi's fatigue. Jessi lay down beside him on the opposite side of the makeshift bed, silently giggling good-naturedly at his 'unheard' chuckling.

Strangely finding herself uncomfortable, she tried shifting position a few times, but couldn't assume a comfy arrangement. Finally, Kyle reached over and grasped her right hand, stopping her movements as she gazed at him from an upturned, questioningly blank face.

Understanding his tentative meaning at once, she carefully nodded and slowly crept the few inches between them to him, lowering herself onto his chest warily and gradually. Once there, she settled in quite nicely.

Kyle wrapped his strong arms around her stomach, she tenderly holding onto them just as securely, and they both rested. Their combined body heat was enough to keep them warm, and Kyle, against the many soft pillows and blankets, was asleep in seconds.

Jessi closed her tremendously drained eyes as well, knowing solely pleasant dreams lay ahead for her now, and was nearly to her longed-for destination when some last minute thoughts flitted by.

Through her fear, she had become fearful, which entailed contemplative, suspicious, and untrusting. She had been hurt so many times in the past, in so many ways that she figured the next person to offer a helping hand would do the same as all the others. She'd nearly let it overtake her, let it win.

Through her fear, she had been given a home, a family, friends, and a wonderful life in which no one would strive to hurt her as those prior had. A life in which a Mother doted on her, a sister was concerned for her, a brother was amazed by her, a Father was glad to have her, and a friend was there to love her.

Through her fear…the fear had been eliminated. The antidote for the fear plaguing her had been one she'd had to work to find, one through which she'd had to suffer many a trial to receive. She had discovered the way to channel it, subconsciously churning it out in increments in the form of dreadful nightmares. She had discovered, on her own, that the final curing element to her fear…was Kyle.

As she lay there in Kyle's arms, more than ready to obtain the peaceful sleep that had evaded her for so long, she was incredibly relieved to declare one last thing:

Jessi, Experiment 781228, wasn't afraid anymore.

* * *

_A/N: _There you have it! Now, before I go on, I want to apologize for updating this so late when I promised many of you it would be up soon (which was many weeks ago)! I feel so horrible about leaving you guys hanging like that (believe me, I know how that feels XC), so please forgive me! Oh, and if you could please check out my somewhat recently published Kyle XY story centering around Sarah and Adam's relationship, 'Long Ago', that would be really awesome! You're all amazing, and thanks for all of the tremendous support! ^_^

_A/N: _By the way, I've never written (nor experienced) a kissing scene in my life, so did I do all right? I know the majority of you probably have written one or so prior to reading this, so I'd appreciate your feedback! XD

_A/N: _If you happen to somewhat recognize some of the things Kyle and Jessi say, it's because I have altered some quotes from season two and three (yes, even ones from episodes that hadn't aired when this started), so be aware that--

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyle XY or anything affiliated, which includes these altered quotes. Thank you. If I had, I wouldn't have cancelled one of the few decent shows on this planet (meaning this one)!


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